Some
people are oozing with self confidence while others also have very little of
it. A person’s self confidence comes from a combination of his environment and
his personality. There are ways of building self confidence. If you want to
help a friend or family member improve his self confidence, make sure to avoid
doing the following. Listed below are common mistakes made when boosting self
confidence.
Giving
Too Much Praise and Saving Criticism for Another Day
When
you want to build a person’s confidence, say in drawing or singing, it helps to
praise the person. But don’t say you’re great or you’re so talented if it isn’t
the case. He is bound to realize what you’re saying is merely getting lip service.
Only give praise when it is due. You are not building up confidence by
over-praising. In fact, it will seem like lying knowing the work or result was
really second-rate. When you are giving praise to someone, stop right there.
Save the criticism, constructive or otherwise for the next day. Let him savor
the moment for the time he did good. Even if there is room for improvement,
leave it. Praising then criticizing is like inflating the ego and pricking it
with a huge needle afterwards.
Using
a Sibling or Colleague as Model
Comparison
is a big no-no in boosting self-confidence. Saying “why can’t you be like your
sister?” that is one big letdown. People have different strengths and
weaknesses. And even if they are related, they are still separate and unique
individuals. Comparing him to another person usually serves to discourage
rather than encourage. He will feel not good enough and would rather not
compete. Find ways to inspire the person to do better. Compare him to the time
he did good. Not when others did good. You can focus on the person’s past
accomplishment and remind him of it. He will remember how he felt and the
increase in self-confidence at that particular moment. Use that as a model
instead. Compare him to himself and no one else.
Being
Insincere
It
helps if you are honest in your praise. Insincerity can be sensed a mile away.
If you are merely saying nice things but do not mean it, it would be useless.
Only say what you truly believe in and not what you think the other person
wants to hear. Sincerity is felt and cannot be forced. If you cannot say a good
thing, then say it in a diplomatic manner. Think of when you are giving a
flattering comment. You give that comment because it is true. Not because you
feel you have to. Remember that you are saying these things because you want to
boost the morale of a person. If you are insincere or even lying
straight-faced, what purpose does that serve? It is like kicking a person when
he is already on the ground.
The
desire to help boost a person’s self-confidence is a noble act. But in the
process, you have to make sure you are doing the right thing. The purpose will
be defeated otherwise. Learn about common mistakes in this case and avoid them
by all means.
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